I am sitting here at this old computer reading new blogs that I have recently become hooked too (like I needed anymore of those) and my thoughts have not only been on those blogs but my life as of late. I have a sweet little girly laying belly-down on my chest being squirmy as she tries to get comfortable and dose off for a quick nap and think about how I want to laugh out loud as she nuzzles her head and little mouth around my collar bone. It feels crazy that she is already 5.5 weeks old. She is our most spoiled child as far as being held is concerned.
I think about the past 2 days, when I "officially" became the mother of 3...you know one with no help around. I sure panicked a few days before it happened and continued to, with fat tears rolling down my cheeks, as I hugged my mother-in-law goodbye and climbed in the car to drive away. But I can say confidently that we all survived. I can't say confidently that I did it with as much patience as I could or should have, as we walked out the Dr.'s office yesterday to pouring rain and sleet with no umbrella-I did laugh about that though-a little while later. I didn't have as much patience today either as we were in my post-partum appt. and the kids were pulling the curtain back a million times as the Dr. was checking out my "you know what". I also didn't have as much patience as I should have each of the 50 times I asked the kids to put their toys back upstairs after I had already done it myself like 50 times. However, the feeling of relief and a spiritual affirmation that I could do this came as we were all on the couch, a baby in my arms snoozing after getting a good eatin', a sweet big girl asleep against my arm with her hands in her lap and her legs crossed, and a little boy laying down next to her just chillin' and I think feeling what I felt at that moment as well.
While I have only seen the movie once, a line from The Waterboy comes to mind, "You can do it!" in that queer voice the guy says it in and I laugh...
and know that I can.
I have also been thinking about this sweet moment not that long ago...
2 comments:
Oh my. Love that picture. I love how you post about how you really feel, even when times get tough. Thanks for keeping all of us mommas feeling like we aren't alone!!
I LOVE that picture too! You really should be a writer your posts are one of my favorites! And next time you have a DR appt, please call me & bring your kids to my house so that you don't have to deal with it!! :)
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