Friday, November 2, 2012

As I sit here, feeling non-motivated, sluggish and just done with this week already, I realized it's Friday.
My sweet Mikey is home tomorrow and we have nothing planned, which means we get to get more work done on the house (wahoo!) and enjoy doing it with Daddy home.
It means that maybe I will get some sleep tonight to help ward off the last bit of this nastiness that I have had and maybe not have a headache for the first day in a week and half or so?
I also realized this was not my best week, at all.
Not as a mom, a wife or just as me.
I have been overly frustrated with a little girly who is turning 2 next month.
She has been...wait, back-up, rewind.
Next month?
Say what?!
Okay, breathe Shannon.
Alright, now that my head not only hurts, it is now spinning, but anyway.
She is seriously the biggest handful and I was feeling that she fueled my fire of being a raunchy person this week.
It must be something about a third child, or so I hear at least.
She has tested me more in the last 2 weeks than I have ever been tested with a child, at least that I can remember-which may mean nothing since I have the world's worst memory ever, seriously.
My house, oh my house, has suffered great injury on multiple occasions as of late-mostly the floor-due to that little chica. My nerves have been fried nearly every day due to her craziness.
As all of those thoughts and feelings have flowed towards my beautiful little girl, it amazes me how in a matter of seconds it can all be erased and realization of it just being me and not her can replace all those other feelings.
Not long ago, as in like, 20 minutes ago, I stopped as I realized she was playing near me. So, literally I just stopped and watched her. My heart swelled as watched her with her babydoll, as she mothered it, loved it (two in same thing I guess) and talked to it. She covered it with a blanket, gave it a stuffed animal, seemed to tell it a story and then proceeded to show her to me like she was a proud little Mama. Then, as my big girl was throwing a fit in the floor because she is bored, Makinley says to her, "Shhhhh, beebee is seepin. Beebee is seepin."
It was just pure sweetness from her.
My tender mercy today is my sweet little, almost 2 year old-her and her little motherly self.
I am a proud Mother of 3 beautiful, healthy and very good children.
Do they have their moments? Absolutely.
But they are children, and they test the boundaries to learn.
They don't come with a manual on growing up just as we don't get a manual to parent, even though there are books out there that think they are just that. Every child is different, each bringing different challenges and lessons to learn. And I am so glad that I have my sweet kiddos to teach me more than I ever thought I would learn. I hope to be able to focus more on all the good and happiness that they bring to my life rather than always looking at the negative things they do. Because goodness, they have taught me to love in a way that I didn't know was possible, and they are just awesome...and they deserve me at my best.


1 comment:

John n Shannon said...

First of all, let me give you a big fat....I HEAR YA SISTER! It's hard even with good kids like we have...can you imagine raising kids that aren't good? I always remind myself. I'm their Mom for a reason. I may not be perfect. I'm still learning. But I'm their Mom...period. They need me as I am and as I'm willing to be/learn/grow. Also, I heard it said once that we are not here to teach them. They are here to teach us. Which makes MUCH more sense. I have learned lots in my short years as a parent thus far. It does help to take a step back and just observe them. For all the obstinate personality of my 3 year old - I am grateful for it because it will give her unwavering strength when it matters (aka teenager). You are a great Mom and I'm always here to buoy you up and feel your pain!