Wednesday, August 4, 2010

dreamin of you tonight



I feel like I have't documented my feelings on my pregnancy and not much about the pregnancy at all (other than being sick). Maybe because we have so much else going on, maybe because I don't think it is the topic of interest to others, or maybe other reasons I just rather not share. I have come to realize though that there is no reason not to record my thoughts and feelings, this baby is no different than my other 2-in fact we couldn't be more excited. So, here I go.

While this pregnancy has definitely seemed real it seemed so much more real in the last 24 hours. Was it that I finally felt the baby move-no actually, I never posted that-I felt the baby at about 15 weeks and it was pure bliss the moment it happened. And actually, Mike felt the baby last week and it was amazing as well-one of the moments with each pregnancy that I wil not forget.

Yesterday we went to Target, and anyone who knows me knows that I could live at Target-for every possible reason but especially for clothes-LOVE THEM. We wandered through the baby aisle-BAD idea. Oh my goodness, seriously guys, the onesies alone had me from hello-both the boy's and girl's. For some odd reason that made it set in more, desperetely wanting to get something but knowing we don't know until next week what we are having. 

Then, last night, or this morning rather I finally had a dream about this little "peanut" of ours. Mike had one months ago but not me. I have only had bad scary dreams that I woke up crying from...the joys of pregnancy and motherly fears. While our family, meaning my little immediate family, thinks we are having a girl, we understand that doesn't mean it is really going to happen. I was so excited though waking up this morning, and still quite sleepy, having finally had a good dream about the baby and seeing the baby. Yes, it was a girl in my dream and she was so  B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. She had so much black hair and these eyelashes like you wouldn' t believe-unless you have ever taken the time to look at my husband's eyelashes-he has gorgeous eyes...but they were on this little bitty baby-amazing. Her eyes were green in color though, not like any of us-I am brown and so are our 2 kids and Mike's are a beautiful stormy sea blue with this subtle gold around the pupils. Anyway, it was amazing and it felt so awesome.

Do I think this was our actual baby? No. It was just, finally, some relief for me and allowed me a new connection with the little tiny being who pokes me all day long-really ALL DAY. (and I thought my 3rd might be my calm child...hahahaha)

The more children had doesn't mean the less excitement brought by it, I actually feel the opposite, I feel even more excited. I can't wait to see this teeny baby next week and to finally know, for sure, what it is. Do we care either way? No. Really...well, I don't at least. Are bows and dresses fun? Well sure, but the loves and adoration from a little boy to his Momma...complete joy. Any child is joy, no matter what it's gender.
Excitement folks, excitement.


So what is YOUR verdict?

Girl or boy?

We'll see what wins out and how many of us are wrong.

(by the way, in case you were wondering, Mike's dream was a girl as well..."7lbs 2ounces, dark hair and really cute" being how he described it)



4 comments:

Kate said...

you know all the boys in our family have great eyes...i am not sure what you are having but i am wondering if you finished Breaking Dawn again...doesn't that vamp baby have green eyes? with long lashes? enjoy your pregnancy!

Kristal said...

BOY!!

Megan and Jeff said...

Congratulations! I'm so excited for you guys. I hope you're pregnancy flies by and that you are feeling great - at least great by pregnancy standards!

Jody said...

i had a several dreams about the baby while i was pregnant, and it always was a boy in the dream..dark hair blue eyes and so far my dreams have been correct, i got my dark hair blue eye boy..i think the dreams are a way of the little one growing inside of you letting you know that they are there and excited to meet you..so i think you will have a girl..good luck!! :)